In the Name of Payback
by Carolare Scarletus
Summary: When a prank orchestrated by Sirius and James goes terribly wrong, Remus is left to clean up after them but not without planning a prank of his own. Revenge never tasted so sweet.


House: Slytherin

Category: Drabble

Prompts: A much needed shower (Prompt/Situation)

Characters: Lily Evans, James Potter; Remus Lupin; Sirius Black

World: Canon

Word count: 865 (Excluding Author's Note, but including entire Short Story and Title)

Summary: When a prank orchestrated by Sirius and James goes terribly wrong, Remus is left to clean up after them but not without planning a prank of his own.

Rating: T

Author's Note: I owe my House for helping me beta this! They are the BEST! :)

As always, enjoy

-Carolare Scarletus

* * *

In the Name of Payback

* * *

Remus Lupin was officially done.

The second James presented him with a decorative envelope, with its red and silver ribbons and golden script, he should have chucked it into the air or lit it on fire.

Instead, he'd opened it, and now he was paying the price.

While he paraded around in a sparkling tutu of the bubblegum hue, sending all sorts of murderous looks at his classmates, he had time to reflect on the grander of aspects of life. He had done everything to stay in their good graces, to make sure they stayed out of trouble, and most of all, to make sure they lived to see another day. But in return, they had worried his last nerve and they were going to pay dearly for it.

As soon as he made it to the Prefect's bathroom, Remus stripped down, vanished the discarded tutu and all its accessories. Feeling a bit better, he turned on the faucet to the bath. Once half way filled, he gradually sunk into the warm water.

The water on his skin felt heavenly.

Remus cleansed his body as if the multi-colored splatters were physical representations of his sin. He washed away the yuck of glitter and rainbow confetti. He was an artist's wet dream. What the hell kind of color was blue-cinnamon, anyway? He sounded like a crayon that gave up halfway through the naming process. What was worse, he looked like a rejected piece out of box of jelly beans that no one wanted to eat. He supposed his flavor would be akin to excrement, which would in turn would be turned into vomit and piled up together. Remus stunk to high heaven, and Gods knew his ancestors, whom remained in peace, were plugging those nose at pungent smell.

All the while, a storm of wicked revenge was brewing inside of him. And, he was going to get it, even if that meant playing dirty.

Once he finished, he left the Prefects bathroom with an evil glint in his eye and an ingenious plan for retribution.

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"Are you seriously mad at us?" James asked, biting his lip firmly. A bubble of laughter was welling up inside of him the likes of which Remus has never seen, but he'd be damned if he got the last laugh.

He had just made it back to the Tower when they bombarded him. Though, Remus was fuming, he still managed to greet them with some respect.

"Go away," he growled, attempting to get passed them. All he wanted to do was sleep.

"C'mon, Moony." Sirius was sitting in an armchair near the fireplace, playing with what looked like a firecracker. He stood up from the chair and tried to give him a hug, ignoring the heated look from his brother. "Forgive us."

Like a light switch, Remus' eyes turned a dark hue of black. All movement ceased and air grew cold. "I said… get away from me."

Sirius stopped mid stride and frowned. "Come on, mate. It wasn't that bad."

"You two are sick. Especially you, Sirius."

"You didn't honestly believe that Clarissa Stone liked you, right?"

Remus growled and turned to him. "It this what you think this is about?"

"Well, what else could it be?"

"It has nothing to do with her!"

While they argued, a horrid sound came from just outside of the Portrait door. In seconds, the common room was filled with the dismaying cry of a girl screaming. As the boys scrambled to their feet, looking anxiously around the room and running to the door, the Portrait swung open and in stepped Lily their hearts fell to their knees as they backed away slowly from her. She looked ready to kill.

"Who sent this letter!" Lily screamed, causing them all to jump.

Backing away slowly, James said, "W-we don't know what you're talking about, Evans."

"Oh?" she said doubtfully. Moving closer to them, she said, "If you don't know, then care to explain why it's written in your handwriting?" Lily began waving the letter in front of him angrily. Without giving them the slightest chance of explanation, she produced her wand and began hissing hexes in every direction. One of them hit James in the rear, forcing him to fill into a fit of laughter on the common room floor. Sirius was quick to dodge most of them; however Lily was quicker. She smoothly flicked her wrist and sent a terrible hex in his direction, one that made his already fluffy tutu to morph into feathers with a beak to match. A murderous look blossomed across her face.

As he watched, Remus watched as Lily walked out of the portrait hole, snickering at their dismay.

Once Lily was gone, he walked over to them, smirking as he did.

"Y-Y-you did this?" Sirius asked, twirling around still.

"Are you going to apologize?" Remus countered, raising an eyebrow.

When neither of them answered, Remus laughed, turned around, and said, "Payback is a bitch, gentlemen." He felt loads better. Whistling, he walked away.

James and Sirius may indeed have won the battle, but Remus showed up, snatched that victory, and won the whole war thing.

~Fin~


End file.
